Even though both men and women have suspected it, it is now officially confirmed that the happiness of the wife is much more important than her husband’s to sustain a lasting relationship.
Researchers at the Rutgers University conducted a study which surveyed older couples married for an average of 39 years, and found that the happier a wife is in the relationship, the happier her husband is with his life regardless of what he feels or even thinks about the relationship itself.
Deborah Carr, professor of sociology at Rutgers, says:
“I think it comes down to the fact that when a wife is satisfied with the marriage she tends to do a lot more for her husband, which has a positive effect on his life. “
Researchers asked participants to display their feelings and answer to questions regarding if husbands or wives appreciated the other and if they argued or irritated one another.
The 394 couples kept specific diaries where they wrote down their thoughts and self-assessed their own happiness based on the previous 24 hours. According to the findings, the couples had a general overall higher life satisfaction rating than average, and men rated their satisfaction a bit higher than women.
Also, while wives said they became significantly unhappy when their spouses got sick, the opposite was not the case.
“We know that when a partner is sick it is the wife that often does the caregiving which can be a stressful experience. But often when a woman gets sick it is not her husband she relies on but her daughter.”
Moreover, the study showed that women in these long-term marriages rated their own happiness lower than their spouses, and the happier they were, the more they helped their husbands, positively affecting their life.
“For both spouses being in a better-rated marriage was linked to greater life satisfaction and happiness.”
Peace Quarters adds:
“Carr also points to the fact that husbands tend to be less vocal in marriage and because of this, wives might not always notice their husband’s dissatisfaction in marriage. This is another helpful piece of research that could be beneficial for wives so they can encourage their husbands to open up more about concerns and issues within a marriage.”
Therefore, remember that communicating your feelings with your partner is a crucial factor that will lead to happiness for both of you, and to a much stronger bond and union.